Saturday, December 31, 2011

New Year's Eve Poetry SLAM!

Hi everyone and HAPPY NEW YEAR'S EVE DAY OR EVENING (depending on when you visited)!!!! If you are going out tonight....PLEASE DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE!!

Here is tonight's special contribution by an unknown poet -- I loved it the first time I read it and it still makes me chuckle!! 

You’re the truth, Not I

I have a friend named Jim. He is the truest kind of friend. Jim is a tiny green bug that sits by my bed every evening as I think myself to sleep. He’ll often frolic in the air, his wings conducting the music of my mind.

When I am feeling affectionate I will call him “Jim-Jam-Alabamastan”. If my patience is fading our relationship becomes more professional and he becomes simply “Mr. Jim”. When it’s cold outside we cuddle close, and he recites sweet poetry into my ear:

I knew a fat lass named Nicole.
When she ran it would jiggle her roles.
Now barren the worst case
She’ll be taken the first place.  
And swallowin my children hole.

On these hot summer nights we lay sprawled together in a sweaty heap. The twinkle in his eye is a beautiful sunrise. His smile is a warm feeling. It’s deep satisfaction.

Jim likes to talk to my sock, the dirty one in the corner, you know, the sock that hasn’t made it to the laundry basket. It sits there filthy and crumpled the progeny of laziness. Jim will often argue with the sock all day. I call his insults “Little Boy”. I call the sock “Hiroshima”. Every once in a while the sock will argue back, but you have to pay close attention to catch it. It’s troubling to watch someone you deeply care about slip farther and farther away from reality. I often plead with Jim, but it has no use. I tell him to come back to me, to embrace rationality, but he’ll just mutter that it’s “patty time” and “those hamburger bastards better watch out”.

Jim died yesterday. It was a freak accident. My shoe slowly lowered itself onto Jim’s fragile body and began to turn him into a fine paste. Jim tasted like a mixture between a peanut and an oyster. Sometimes you hurt the ones you love, sometimes you eat them.

Things have only gotten worse. That sock is a mouthy son-of-a-bitch. I am starting to understand why Jim had such problems with it. I tell it that we can get along; that things don’t have to be this way, but it is a cold hearted sock. I fear that it has some sinister plan, some great evil in store for me. I often wake in the night to find it silently contemplating me, a dark lust in its fibers. My fear is palpable. I live in dread, and from my dread comes a single question. The question is desperation. The question-my question-is this; what does cotton taste like?
Written by Kevin Arcand

That's it...that is all for this year folks. See you next year :-)


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